If you are proactively looking into senior housing before you are “ready”, give yourself a pat on the back! This blog is all about WHY being proactive with your research is ideal for staying empowered in your aging process.
Why most seniors WAIT to explore Senior housing
It can be really uncomfortable for a person to think proactively about aging, especially when you get into your 2nd half of your life. Many 40 year old’s don’t want to think about age related body changes, just like most 80 year olds don’t want to think of age related body changes. So it becomes easy to wait, to continue with the status quo, to wait for changes to hit you, instead of proactively planning for them.
Here at Calais Senior Consult, we believe in empowering seniors to have control over their aging plan. As most people age, what we really want is control. We don’t want people to question our independence or autonomy. We want to make our own decisions!
Empowered Aging
So, how do we feel clarity, confidence, and control as we age?
We proactively plan for our future. Even exploring the things that make us or our kids uncomfortable NOW to ensure everyone is on the same page down the road.
So let’s talk about why exploring senior living is so ideal before you “NEED” it.
- Connection
- Control
- Community
Connection
I was just sitting down with a friend of mine this weekend and we were talking about the concept or idea of moving into senior living. She looked at me with worry on her face as she thought about her parents and a possible move to senior living and how intimidating it would be to go to the dining room, not knowing anyone.
Exploring Senior living before you decide to make a move is so important, because it helps you make connections with people while you still feel GOOD. You are (somewhat) energized, you are open to meeting people, and ultimately when you start exploring senior living before you have to, you start to build those connections or friendships that you can call on, when it is time to move.
Control
We talked about this above, but the more we proactively plan for our future, the more we can remain in control of our aging process.
I have seen so many seniors have a traumatic health crisis and be moved into senior living when they haven’t had a chance to explore their options. All because they had a health crisis. They needed support NOW.
So how can you be different? Do your research NOW. Explore Senior living, and tell your family where you would hope to go IF you had a massive health crisis. Then your family has the opportunity to HONOR YOUR WISHES. It allows everyone to feel like they respected everyone, even in a health crisis.
Community
As we talk about being proactive in exploring senior housing and making connections prior to “needing” a change. I have to share with you the transitions I’ve seen that have gone the smoothest over the years.
Meet Mary. Mary was a energetic 80 year old who lived in a neighborhood near the community I worked at. Regularly Mary attended our marketing events, and soon came to be friends with the staff and our residents. She would walk her neighborhood and often come in and have a cup of coffee in our cafe’, enjoying her coffee and the conversation.
One day, things changed for Mary. Mary made the decision to move into our community. Swiftly and without hesitation, she moved in 10 days later. And because of the friendships she fostered before the move, she slipped into a daily routine effortlessly. She was happy, engaged and felt connected, right from the start.
What is so special about Mary, is she decided on where she wanted to move before she needed to. She stayed in control by proactively planning. Since she decided on her community, she started getting to know both staff and residents, over time. And when the time came for a move, she felt ready and eager to spend time with people she already had connections with.
The move wasn’t nearly as intimidating to her. She transitioned happy and engaged from the start!
Trying to empower an aging parent as an adult child-read on!
Like we’ve talked about above, we believe in helping seniors stay in control as they age, but that does mean they have to be proactive with some things. As an adult child trying to help an aging parent think about being proactive here are some tips.
State your intention
By this I mean, state your WHY. It can sound something like this, “Mom/Dad, I want you to stay in control as you age, I’d love for you to make the decisions instead of me. To do that, we need to explore some options and talk through some things, so YOU stay in the drivers seat. Are you ok with that?
Evoke/ask them their options
As adult children, we often go into conversations with the solution already in our head. But as we explore the options with our aging parent, it’s important that instead of providing the solutions, we evoke the solutions from them.
This can sound like, “Mom/Dad, you’ve had a few falls and we can make things work at home for now, but if home is no longer an option in the future, what options would you want to consider next?”
Ask permission before sharing
After we’ve evoked the ideas from our aging parents about their options we might notice they get a little “stuck” in what could be next. Before we jump in to provide the solutions for them, ask for permission to share.
This can sound like, “I have a few ideas that might help, would you like to hear those?”
Connect the problem with evoking the next step
As we finalize the conversation, if we are still feeling hazy about the next steps. Or still feeling like we haven’t made traction. State one of the challenges your aging adult faces, and ask them how they can solve it.
In Closing
If you have the opportunity to explore senior housing before a crisis, get connected with the staff, proactively plan your aging journey, and cultivate that sense of community BEFORE a move. You are going to be in a very healthy place when you decide to transition to Senior living.
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